While a distraught Hank tries to deal with the fact that he wasn’t born in Texas, Cotton and his buddies once again make plans to assassinate Fidel Castro.

Bill and former Texas governor Ann Richards hit it off after a chance meeting resulting from Hank’s reluctant prank in an Austin hotel.

Eric gives Donna a promise ring but things don’t turn out the way that he planned; Jackie, seeing Donna’s ring, demands that Michael gives her a promise ring too; Hyde…

Bobby goes from bullied to bully after learning a counterattack move in a self-defense class–for women.

After reading an entry in Donna’s diary, Eric decides to get a tattoo, but things don’t turn out the way he planned. Kitty has Pastor Dave over for dinner and…

Eric, Hyde, Fez, Kelso and Leo go to Canada to get some beer. Unfortunately, they get stopped on their way back across the border because Fez lost his green card….

Eric gets upset at Donna when she goes backstage at a Ted Nugent concert and then forgets about him; Hyde and Fez get busted for selling counterfeit t-shirts; Kelso tries…

Kelso’s new master plan to get Jackie back is to copy all the lovey-dovey things that Eric does for Donna. To carry out this plan, he tricks the three of…

After an argument, Eric and Donna decide to withhold sex to see who’ll cave in first. Red is nearly killed by a falling tree and it changes his whole outlook…

Fez has a crush on a girl but is too shy to approach her, so Donna sets them up together. Donna wins two tickets to see Led Zeppelin in concert…

Kelso invites the gang to an expensive dinner but skips on the bill, leaving Eric and Donna in the restaurant with no money. The two of them decide to shed…

Donna gets a job at a radio station and Eric gets jealous because on the air she’s known as Hot Donna and supposedly single. Red gets Earl fired from Fatso…

Eric pulls Donna’s pants down in public and reveals her granny panties to everyone. So he tries to make up by giving her sexy panties on Valentine’s Day. When Kelso…

Eric finds a brochure for a nice motel and plans a romantic weekend with Donna, who’s glad for the chance to get away from her feuding parents. Both lie about…

It’s Kitty’s birthday and the only one who remembers is Hyde. To make up for forgetting, Eric and Red agree to do the most horrifying thing imaginable. Meanwhile, Kelso plans…

Jackie tests Kelso to see if she should get back together with him. Fez, Eric and Hyde vandalize an opposing school’s locker room because Fez was beaten up by their…

Kitty’s sister visits and Kitty thinks she’s only there to show off that she’s more successful. After going to see an X-rated movie, Eric tries a new move on Donna…

Kitty forces Red, Eric, Hyde and Kelso to help out at a church fundraiser. Red spends all of his time at the craps table, Kelso and Hyde cheat at bingo…

Fez and Donna pretend to date so Caroline will leave him alone, but she stalks him anyways, until Fez tells her he doesn’t like her any more. Bob reads the…

Kyle’s cousin comes to town and after Kyle sees how stereotypically Jewish his cousin Kyle is, he worries about how Cartman is going to react when he meets him. Meanwhile,…

Feeling like an outcast for being the only rich kid in town, Token succeeds in attracting several other wealthy people to South Park. Meanwhile, the townspeople, fearing that their little…

In a very special episode of South Park, Cartman fights for Kenny’s life when he speaks before Congress in favor of stem cell research. Meanwhile, Stan has trouble dealing with…

Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back…

Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny discover David Blaine, magician and Cult Leader. Stan finds out early that the Blainiacs are not as nice as they thought. Stan has to convince…

Cartman goes medieval on Scott Tenorman’s ass when ginger-haired Scott tricks our supple hero into buying his pubic hair for $16.12. Radiohead guest stars and plays a role in Cartman’s…

In the grand tradition of Wham UK, flatulant Canadian superstars, Terrance and Phillip, have broken up over creative differences. The clock is ticking as the boys struggle to reunite the…

Cartman inherits one million dollars from his grandmother, fulfilling his lifelong dream of owning his own amusement park, Cartmanland! A hemorrhoid erupts in Kyle’s ass when he learns of Cartman’s…

Thanks to Stan’s “handy” work, the children of South Park must endure sex education from the unlikely duo of Mr. Mackey and Ms. Choksondik. While the two adults take their…

The boys get a new video game system and their plans for the next 38 hours is to play it! Untill they discover Towelie, a government secret, genetically engineered towel…

In the wake of the terrorist attack on the United States, the boys find themselves accidentally sent to Afghanistan, where they encounter their Afghani counterparts and try to understand why…

Cartman has finally gone too far when a prank involving Kenny’s sweet cheeks results in him blowing a “funny fuse.” After a photo of Kenny’s better side finds it’s way…

The you-know-what hits the fan 162 times when the citizens of South Park hear the word “Sh*t” on the popular show, “Cop Drama.” Boffo ratings have the executives at HBC…

Big Gay Al returns to South Park, only to be thrown out as Scoutmaster to the boys for being gay. The boys rally to his defense, with the help of…

Donna keeps her promise to accompany Eric to the Pricemart Ball as a friend, but she gets jealous when she sees Eric with another girl. Fez gets a job at…

Eric is upset when Donna writes a story in the school newspaper that sounds exactly like events that happened in their relationship; he decides to write his own story. Red…

Red has to produce a new Pricemart instructional film, and his choice of actor for the part of “Stockboy” leaves Eric stunned. Kitty and Donna become friends, spending time together,…

Red thinks Pricemart checkout girl Stacey is perfect for his lovelorn son. The girl impresses Red when she justifies her dubious customer relations with a phrase dear to his heart….

When the guys go bowling for boy’s night, Hyde throws a wrench in the plan when his “friend” Jill shows up. Kelso and Fez decide to hunt down their own…

Eric thinks that Christmas just isn’t as fun as it used to be when he was a kid, so Kitty suggests that he direct the church Christmas pageant. He has…

After Hyde moves back in with the Formans, Kitty decides to redecorate the basement so she hires Leo and his cousin Theo to do the job. Meanwhile, Donna and Eric…