Oblivious to its cultlike ways, Luanne joins a sorority and gets Peggy in too; Hank and the boys rescue emus from death, but don’t know what to do with them.

Hank learns that the incident estranging Dale from his cowboy father was a cover to keep him in the dark about Dad being in the closet.

Bill and former Texas governor Ann Richards hit it off after a chance meeting resulting from Hank’s reluctant prank in an Austin hotel.

The Booster Club sends a distraught Hank to talk to Peggy after she fails the football team’s star fullback and gets him suspended from the team.

Hank’s emotional outburst pushes him further from his father, so Bobby drafts Jimmy Carter to broker a Christmas peace.

After Bobby feigns taking Connie’s father’s bribe to break up with her, Connie lets her grades slip to show how upset she is without him.

Cash-flow problems plague Hank’s father, who’s forced to work a menial job on Veterans Day instead of marching in the parade.

Peggy nominates Bobby to carry the Olympic torch through Arlen, but it’s Hank who wins the honor–and bungles it.

Bill counters his holiday loneliness by becoming a generous Santa, attracting a nice single mother and a young slacker who takes advantage.

Peggy leads a troupe of “wenches” to protest their unfair treatment at the Renaissance Faire, where Hank is trying to land a big-money propane account.

Bobby’s act of heroism leads the Hills to a meeting with candidate George Dub-Ya, who turns Hank’s vote from sure to tentative with the shake of a hand.

Bobby joins his school academic team as the expert in pop culture, but the pressure gets to him.

Hank starts taking yoga classes after injuring his back at work; Peggy bags groceries at a mom and pop store that’s having a hard time competing against Megalomart.

After Connie becomes a victim of reverse discrimination, Kahn gives up his hopes and dreams and embraces the life of a hillbilly.

Bobby becomes a peer counselor, but gets personally involved with clients.

Dale donates a kidney to Funny Car racer John Force, and makes Hank his representative in all matters while laid up.

During a flood, Hank’s position as emergency-shelter team leader is usurped by Bill when Hank is drafted to watch over a fragile dam.

Ignorance of the Alamo in Bobby’s Texas History class prompts Hank to help organize a reenactment, but the author’s version is revisionist.

Luanne helps Hank protest a grilling competition that bans propane; Peggy negotiates to see an infamous murder site.

A Latin TV star hires Peggy to come to his home in Mexico to tutor his kids, but Peggy senses his interest is not entirely academic.

The Hills’ house tests positive for mold, found again and again just after Hank enters the home in a local showcase.

Hank’s thriftiness and reluctance to talk about money leads Bobby to believe he’s wealthy, a rumor that spreads through the neighborhood.

Peggy’s entry into the art world is rejected at first, then applauded by a dealer whose promotional method leaves her drawn.

Arlen’s hottest new haircutting team is Luanne and Bill, who charms the ladies by pretending to be gay.

The boys’ annual camping trip is disturbed by a gathering of hippies, who share their food with Bobby and expect sharing in return.

Peggy’s aggressive approach as cheerleading coach brings football wins, and a hearing when one routine is deemed offensive.

When Boomhauer’s brother, Patch, announces he’s getting married to Boomhauer’s old girlfriend, Hank mistakenly comes to believe that Boomhauer is out to sabotage the wedding.

Hank likes Bobby’s new Christian youth group, but not their methods of worship, which include skateboarding and punk rock.

John Redcorn tries to open a Native American gambling casino to provide a venue for his band, Big Mountain Fudgecake.

Dale dons a disguise to defy Arlen’s smoking ban, and Peggy sets out to uncover his identity.

Peggy helps weather-girl Nancy fight back when she’s replaced by a qualified meteorologist. Also, a boy barking like a dog scares Bobby.

Bill finds happiness in a men’s chorus, where the required devotion jeopardizes his Army career.

Hank accompanies Cotton and his new friend Bill to Mexico to try to keep them from buying timeshare properties. But the salesmen are determined.

Hank’s immaculately manicured front lawn is as good as gone when Peggy tries to horn in on the glory with her own contributions.

Covert work by Hank and the boys turns a befuddled groundskeeper into a hero when his field is credited with hampering opponents.

Peggy’s estranged mother summons her home to their Montana ranch, where Henry Winkler is an uncooperative neighbor.

Worried about how Dale is raising Joseph, John Redcorn asks Hank to take the boy he fathered on a Native American rite of passage.

Hank and Peggy find marital salvation in a motorcycle–until their first long trip.

Peggy, Minh and Nancy bond to save a school program, but split up when Minh decides she’s the best candidate for a school-board seat.

Despite a lack of seasoning that Hank deems mandatory, Bobby becomes a whiz at selling propane grills; Bill takes an inadvertent balloon ride.