Lois and her father attend the funeral of Lois’ childhood nanny. Peter and the rest of the family turn Pewterschmidt mansion into a hotel.

A new boss quells Peter’s favorite part about work: office birthdays. Stewie is put in detention and comes out a ruffian.

An accident leaves Peter with a high-pitched voice, so Jesus coaches him into fending off the choir boys; Stewie is attracted to Lois’ new masculine physique.

At odds with Peter, Lois takes Quagmire to her high school reunion; the rest of the family must cover up the death of a pizza delivery man.

Peter hires the town’s new lawyer, Brick Baker, to represent him in litigation against his new neighbor — who turns out to be Brick; Brian and Stewie become lobstermen and…

With her vision waning, Lois elects to get LASIK surgery, but exploits her new disability for monetary gain. Meanwhile, Peter, Chris and Stewie must partake in all the activities with…

Quagmire meets an avid dog lover, and pretends Brian is his dog in an attempt to win her over. Meanwhile, Chris helps Stewie track down the culprit who stole his…

Peter and Lois vacation in Florida, only to discover they’ve rented a condo in a retirement community. Back at home, Brian helps Stewie take his first shower.

Stewie tries to civilize his half-brother, Boston Stewie, so that he may be adopted. Meanwhile, Meg and Chris start a venture in which people online pay Chris to sit on…

Meg discovers her tears produce delicious cookies, and her, along with her siblings, enjoy a profit until the success makes her too happy to cry. Meanwhile, Peter and the guys…

Lois joins Chris’s school as a substitute teacher, launching him into the cool kids club… but only time will tell how long he remains a member.

Peter and his friends wonder aloud about what their dream jobs would be. Peter enters a sequence a la James Bond, where he goes by the name Band and has…

Stewie and Brian become overwhelmed after winning a coffee shop. Peter and his friends annoy Meg at her new lifeguard job when they don’t follow the pool rules.

Peter tries to protest Hollywood after learning that Brad Pitt was cast in a biopic about a politician. After Pitt injures himself on set, Peter must act out the role…

Brian becomes romantically interested in someone and it inspires him to use Stewie’s time machine. Strange consequences result from their journey.

Meg agrees to be Bruce and Jeffery’s surrogate causing a pregnant Meg to annoy her family. But, when the couple fails to pick up the baby, the Griffins must take…

With the brewery under construction, Lois implores Peter to take a new job, but grows irate when he begins work at the grocery store. Meanwhile, armed with his police stories,…